summary

its a bit chilly out.murky clouds.wet orange and red leaves stained to the road

i think its time to bring out the winter coats!

although my feet are snuggled warm in these blue fuzzy socks:)

i feel like every week i go through the same motions
wake up at 5:30...take a poo...[haha yeah]...brush my teeth put the contacts in and walk right back to bed

where i sleep for another five minutes before its time to pull off the covers

and rush to school.

well this wednesday we took a field trip down to d.c like all our other field trips

and to the newsum!

yes.every kids dream is here.i mean who wouldnt want to go to an interactive learning muesum where it focuses on past and daily international media. where old documents are sealed up tight in shiny glass boxes.where there are such things as touch screens and set developments.even a news room where you can record your own commericals which i was both the weather girl and the editor of the gubernatorial elections.i find that day completely satisfying; better then the holacust mesuem i may say so myself. except for the fact that one of the headlines for a newspaper read in red bold letters CLINTON CHEATS ON HIS WIFE HAVING ORAL SEX 9 TIMES. now that was horrifying and a nuisance since iti s permanently attached to my memory.

the fun was over after an hours ride home.seriously it takes at least ten minutes to get in the city.but no.there is such thing as heavy traffic at 6 in the morning and even at 2pm. the heavy backload of cars, fuming gases, and the contsruction on roads are killers.today i find myself not at all pleased to be home early.but its good in a way.except for the fuming of my grandparents its. friday...ummm

a day to relax and set my mind off school.maybe im lucky this weekend and something good will happen:)

im done

i feel like a slushie
werid way to put it
but the past week
has been a complete
nightmare.
you know when you drink a slushie
and all the icing is at the very top when you take the first sip
that was me.
and now im like this melty sweet water
sinked at the bottom
i thought the ffriday football game was going to be
jublant
exciting
i get to see the boy i liked.
and i ended up hurt and sad
and i know i should be over it
its been
five monthes
and im not.im hurt just like the day
when everything ended
he hurts me over and over again
but i still care
i cant yell at him
i cant be mad at him
his smile makes me smile
hes not the hottest
not the most athletic
but hes the best at making me happy
and i wish that i could be that happy again
...impossible

under pressure

i dont know how to put my words together
its out of proption.well my brain.
i feel like its about to pop out of its sockets
and
im slowely loosing
speech and
by the end of this passage.i wont even comprehend what im writing.
this just might be sign that sickness is over taking my body
or im pmsing.haha it could be both.
but who the f cares that nywoe betrays his father
(essay assignment for english)
the word betrayal can be taken from so many persepectives
how do you even define it in the first place.
i cant figure it out.or im really stupid
or im still pmsing.
GOD i need a sign
like one of those movies with jim carrey
god i need your help here.
my emotions are over taking my system like a metallic song
with no real music.just lots of banging
i feel like ive just got stabbed in the back
and my skin is ripped into a large X.
it hurts
but do they care.no they dont
they walk away like nothing has happened.and i stand here alone
with no bag of chex mix this time.
life sucks
[sorry jessica if you never understand what im writingXD][it comes off the top of my head]